Women in Ministry - Part Three

I really wasn’t stupid…

Learning just never came easy for me. I had to work and study harder than my classmates to achieve passing grades. Numbers became confused when doing math in my head. Memorization required word pictures and melody. I loved to read and write. The drugs and alcohol I used in high school surely didn’t help! I graduated with one of the lowest grade point averages in my high school – not something I wanted to boast about.

After high school I enrolled at a nearby community college. The first week I attended classes was terrible for me. I secluded myself from the other students. I kept my eyes down when I walked the halls. I lived in terror of the teacher calling on me. I knew that if I ever opened my mouth, everyone would know how stupid I was. At the end of the first week, I got very sick when waiting to give my first speech in class – and didn’t make it the bathroom before vomiting. The other students squealed and cursed. I was so ashamed. I determined I would never go back to class again.

This decision created a problem for me. I had recently given my life to Jesus and made a vow to stop all lying. I was a habitual liar before becoming a Christian. Now I was too ashamed to go back to my classes and too afraid to tell my parents what had happened – that I was going to quit school. My solution was to drive each day to the community college, sit in the cafeteria and study the books purchased for the classes. Then I would leave and drive to work before returning home. This worked fine…until the grades were sent to my house. That was NOT a good day! Eventually I gave up all dreams of pursuing an education and continued working in a steady job until marrying my husband the following winter.

Street ministry seemed perfect for me! When my Christian husband and I returned from our honeymoon, we moved into a street center called “The Open Door” in Midland, MI. With my background of Sunday School in my childhood, I had more Bible knowledge than almost anyone else who attended our meetings. I felt confident and gained boldness. This continued as we began ministering to youth in local churches. I was older, wiser and had their respect. When I taught, they believed what I said. I grew in my teaching gift and began praying for others with greater assurance.

Then came the dreadful day God called us to Mt.Pleasant, Michigan…a college town. Panic immediately set in. How in the world could I ever minister to young people attending college if I had failed so miserably in school? They would find me out! They would soon realize how stupid I was! I determined to focus all of my efforts on the poor of the community. My husband and I rented a home near a needy area and began going door-to-door. THIS I could do! I knew how to talk to people who were needy and hurting. I knew how to talk to youth lost in the world. I began to think I could make a difference in this town after all.

Those first months of the new church proved me wrong. Not only the wounded, addicted, and lost came to “The Potter’s House”…soon I as replaced as worship leader by a TEACHER. A woman who graduated seminary and knew the Bible much better than me began to question some of the things I taught. Older women, wiser women, women who were better mothers, professionals, teachers, college professors all found their way to our young church over the next few years. I was intimidated and ashamed. I took any questioning of my appearance, ways, or teaching as an attack. I was afraid. Why would God do this to me?!?

The challenging questions of my teachings sparked a desire to learn God’s Word as never before. My husband taught me how to use a Bible Concordance and Commentary. My life was forever changed. A whole new world opened for me! I studied like a person starving for spiritual food. I realized how much there was to learn and loved every moment of study. I began staying up late at night after everyone else was asleep. Like an addict, I couldn’t seem to get enough of God’s Word. And with every hour of study, I was being changed. As I grasped the truth of God’s Word, new freedom came to my life. When I saw the impact of these same truths in the lives of others as I taught, I was “hooked” for life! What a gift to be able to teach truth that would set people free!

(I'll stop here in this chapter to pose a few questions for discussion...Is there an issue in your life that hinders your confidence in ministry? Have you discovered the delight of STUDYING God's Word? For those who have...what are your study techniques? For those who haven't...why not? Click on the "comment" and share!)