Rediscovering the "Virtuous Woman"...

When we read of the virtuous or noble woman described in Proverbs 31, a sense of hopelessness overwhelms us. She's just too perfect! Most women in American society don't know how to MEND clothes, let alone SEW them! And the shopping, cleaning, and care of her home...who wouldn't love a few housekeepers to help with the work??? Her mouth is ALWAYS kind and wise? She dresses up for her husband EVERY day? She does all this AND has time and energy to minister to others? Eventually, we decided to move our attention to the Book of Psalm instead!

What we so often miss is the HEART of this woman. As the chapter begins, it highlights her inner self rather than her efforts or accomplishments. We are told that she is worth or valued more than rubies to those who know her. Her husband is able to trust her fully BECAUSE he knows her heart. He knows that she will always do good, want good, and feel good about him and their family. He knows that her outward acts of nobility, compassion, wisdom and kindness flow from within. He understands that her outward beauty is a reflection of an inward beauty.

This opens a few questions for consideration: What is in OUR hearts? And, who else really knows our hearts?

In the frantic flurry of life we sometimes forget the inner issues of our hearts. Yet everything we say and do outwardly flows from that secret place. Our hearts manifest in how we care for ourselves, our homes and our families. Our hearts are reflected in the words we speak, attitudes and opinions expressed, and in every behavior. To overlook our hearts is not wise. This is where all change begins!

Take a moment for personal inventory...IS your heart "good" towards yourself? Your husband? Your children? GOD? Others? How is your heart reflecting in your life; your speech and behaviors?

I remember my second year of marriage to Pastor Ron. He was a neat-freak and I was NOT! We had a small apartment with a constant flow of people in and out. We ran a Christian street ministry and he had two other part-time jobs as well. I was pregnant and eating very poorly due to lack of funds. I kept the apartment clean enough for me. I didn't "feel" like "fixing up" for him. I was tired!

One night, after working so many hours to pay our bills and stay afloat, Pastor Ron came home and stood in the hallway. For a long time he stood and stared. Then he simply said, "I can't do this anymore. I can't come home to a dirty house after all this." He turned and walked outside.

I remember being shocked! I looked around and thought the apartment looked fine. I was immediately frustrated. But I remembered how tired he looked and reconsidered. Leaning against the wall, I prayed, "God, let me see my home through Your eyes and help me make it a home for Ron." I opened my eyes and suddenly saw that the kitchen and hallway floor needed a good mopping. I sang while I cleaned the apartment. When Ron came home with flowers to apologize to his pregnant wife, he stared in unbelief. He was so blessed - and the way he was able to relax and fall asleep blessed my heart, too. From that day on, I've kept our house a home. I'm still not a "neat-freak" by any stretch of the imagination, but I keep the house at a clean-level comfortable for all of us.

So, what brought that "virtuous woman" change to my home? A change of my heart! When my heart was good towards my husband, I wanted to make changes to bless him. It sounds so simple, but it's true. And over the years, every outward change in my life has stemmed from that inner reserve. When my heart is good towards God, I delight in serving Him. When my heart is good towards myself, I take care of me. When my heart is good towards my family, I find it easy to adapt to care for them. Even housework becomes an act of love.

I'm sure this article will stir different reaction from my beloved sisters around the world! I hope you'll comment below. I know that in American society, the virtous woman described in Proverbs 31 is often equated with oppression of womanhood or considered outdated...but if we "outdate" Proverbs, don't we have to then reject other scripture as well? Like it or not, the Bible defines womanhood for us according to God's thoughts and ways. Let's seek His definition together!