In Pursuit of His Presence

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What hinders your pursuit of God's Presence? And, what enhances it?

Read Nancy Fry's story below and take time to comment at the end of the article. Your story may help another woman in her pursuit of God's Presence. Feel free to share your concerns or to ask questions, too!


Intimacy with God
By Nancy Fry

Coming to a place of intimacy with the Lord is central to my personal testimony. And overtime, I've learned several key truths that I consider foundational for developing an on-going friendship with Jesus.

The Lord found me during my Junior year in high school. Our family was not very religious, but one day my brother - who had recently come to faith - invited me to church. Though I was reluctant to go at first, I did, and found that the love of God was strongly apparent...so apparent that I gave my life to Him by walking forward at an altar call. The change in my life was so real and dramatic that I immediately started teaching Sunday School, got in the church choir, and became active on the visitation team. My whole family came to Christ! My mother became a volunteer receptionist, my dad a deacon.

I became very busy for God. "Zeal for god's house was consuming me..." And it was a time to be zealous! It was the time of the early Jesus Movement and the Charismatic Movement, very exciting times indeed. People would get to church an hour early with their Bibles and notebooks and tape-recorders.

Love for Jesus meant action, movement, doing, and going. And that was great for me, because by nature I am a Martha. When you are a Martha, this kind of action is fun; it's a whole new world.

But the Lord looked at me and knew that the Mary part of me was pretty undeveloped. Deep within me I wanted intimacy with Him, but didn't know how to get there. Soon I was to find a whole new dimension in my spiritual life - the transforming Work of the Holy Spirit. Intimacy with Jesus begins the moment we yield our lives to the Holy Spirit. And the first thing the Spirit taught me was the priority of worship.

The First Key: WORSHIP

For me, worship was the beginning of developing real friendship with Jesus. For it is as I worshipped that I realized I could enjoy His Presence.

The first time I felt the Lord's Presence was at Steve's father's church. At that time evangelical churches sang from hymnbooks - and to the person's head in front of you! It was like singing the Star-Spangled Banner or something. But in worship you sang to God! Your eyes closed, focused on Him, with the freedom to lift your hands and even dance. And I noticed that people who were worshippers taught differently than those who just studied their Bibles and taught. Worship changed people. I discovered that worship and obedience were life-changing.

I observed that it was in that place of worship that believers found their identity. It seemed that while people worshipped many even received their healing. In fact, all blessings seemed released in a life-style of worship. And I mean "worship the lifestyle", not "worship, the one-hour service."

You know there are a lot of worship services that have good music, but no worship. Because worship is not just about moving music, it's about knowing God. I loved to worship - but I knew that transferring my "church worship experience" to my "private worship time" with the Lord was going to be more challenging. I knew that intimacy was not just about my desire to worship; it was about listening to Him.

The Second Key: HEARING GOD'S VOICE

Hearing God's Voice for the first time was one of the most incredible experiences I have ever known, and another key to intimacy. But hearing His Voice is costly - because hearing means you have to obey.

The first time I sensed the Lord was speaking to me, His Voice was like a feeling in my gut. At the time I was pursuign the ambitions I had since I was a small girl - agricultural studies. I was attending one of the best schools in California - Cal Poly, located in the beautiful beach town of San Luis Obispo.

But this "feeling" in my gut told me that I was to leave this perfect environment and go to Bible College. Which to me was a painful, costly decision. I was the pin-up girl in Ag School. At that time agriculture was a man's field and I was the new woman. So I had a lot of people rooting me on. I disappointed those people when I followed Jesus to a Bible School. I lost dear relationships; my adopted grandfather who gave me my horse, my High School agriculture teacher, some family members who simply couldn't understand why I would do such a foolish thing...there is always a cost to obedience.

This was a big cost...and I thought to myself that if I passed this big test, I wouldn't have to do anything so difficult for the rest of my life. Ha Ha!

After a year and a half in Bible College, the Lord's Voice started calling me again. Again it was in a radical, costly direction. Jesus was calling me to leave Bible College and come home. For me that was okay, because coming home meant interning at my home church. So here I was - nineteen years, on staff at one of the fastest growing churches in America, a young woman with a great future - and that's when the other shoe of God's guidance dropped. The Lord called me to leave my home church and begin attending a Charismatic church across town! I knew that it would mean a loss of dear friends who weren't at all Charismatic, and who wouldn't understand why I was doing such a thing.

But there was an ache for more, an ache for God's Presence.

So, I obeyed - and once again lost friends. And went to a church where I had no friends! I told my Dad that I was leaving my internship at the church, and for the time being leaving college. I told him I felt God was telling me to do this. Well, that set off some fireworks! But he let me do it - and within two weeks of going to that church I met Steve - and married him six months later!

While we were dating, the Lord presented me with another challenge to hearing His Voice - and it came through Steve. He wanted to know if I had a "call" on my life. "What is a call?" I wondered. I knew I wanted to be in full-time ministry, but what in the world was "a call"? So again I prayed - and I felt a strong impression to turn to an Old Testament passage, and I felt that God was saying this chapter described my call.

I shared it with Steve, and he was exuberant! That chapter was the exact same chapter God had given him years before about his own call! What are the chances of that? I knew that God had spoken directly to me! And that whetted an appetite in me that has never gone away!

I knew then, as I know even better now: GOD DESIRES ME JUST AS I AM.